Knock Knock

I want to open a bar on Wood Street named Knock.

NASCAR

Should NASCAR tracks have a sign that says "WELCOME RACE-ISTS!"?

Pass the mic....

Why do the CTA train operators talk so much? I'd rather pretend the train is automated and there is no driver. There's not really any reason for them to use the mic. Doors opening, doors closing, get on the damn train. There's not much to it!

Revamped ketchup packet

I've been waiting for this my whole life: Heinz is revamping the ketchup packet!

Wow. The age of technology is truly upon us. In a time when I thought condiments couldn't get any better, I am being proved wrong.

Since the early days of the ketchup packet, complaints have been around. It's small, messy, and hard to open. Now everything is going to change. Horray horray. 2010 is blowing my mind.

Things that make you go ummmm

It's interesting that crepes only has one letter different from herpes.

Gladiators

I've come to realize as I get older how important being a well rounded athlete is to impressing new friends and bonding.

A friend pointed out to me that when he first met a group of people, there was a whiffle ball home run contest at the party. For some reason he was a master at hitting whiffle ball home runs. This impressed the group and they immediately accepted him. Though he has hung out with them many times since then, they always bring up how how he dominated the homerun contest.

It is not enough to just be good at one sport. You must be prepared to take risks, try new sports, as well as mastering the classics. Recently, I visited a friends cottage and earned acceptance with their family by water skiing. Everyone who water skied gained instant acceptance and was welcomed back with open arms.

Some examples of sports all men should be prepared to compete in:

• skiing (water & snow)
• croquet
• boccie ball
• basketball
• football
• softball
• whiffle ball home runs
• tubing
• ping pong
• pool
• foot race
• fencing
• bowling
• hiking
• driving any vehical
• biking
• golf
• pushups
• etc, etc, etc....

What up dog?

While running in my parents over the holiday I realized that I was facing a huge potential hazard. Surprisingly, it wasn't that I might slip on ice, get hit by a car, or get mugged for my shoes. I was continually at risk of being mauled by a roaming neighborhood dog. Every couple miles I would encounter a dog outside for a potty break with no leash or fenced in yard. They always bark to announce their presence and declare their territory. I think they can usually sense that I am an animal lover and just want to pet them. But, what if they did't? I had a dog nip me while running by at a park about a year ago. The dog looked nice and didn't seem startled at all. Fortunately, it didn't break skin. I think people need to be more careful with their dogs, especially large ones. If they are going to bark and approach strangers coming by in the neighborhood, they need to be on a leash or in a fenced in yard. I could only imagine what the postman must go through.